being really stressed lately. i dont know why, feels like there is so much on my mind and its like i never accomplish anything so my plate is never cleaned off. : ( its like bits and bites left over.... and i cant seem to bring myself to finish the tasks on hand.

apart from feeling stressed, lifes been crazy ups and downs. in one day i can be from one extreme to the next in just 5 minutes. i just want to chill out for a while. yesterdays weird-monday really helped me relax for a bit, but now its back to work work work!

i need to sort out my thoughts on paper.... well at least a list

1) math- i have to do well in this course. i have to concentrate in class. oh and the main problem i have in this class? getting there on time. holy crap, i hate math first thing everyday. it is the furthest room from any fricken door. today i literally ran outta the car, in the school, up the stairs and down the hall. i ran. on top of that, i walked through slush like it was nothing. if you know me well, i usually walk gingerly in snow/walk around it/walk on the paths that have been made. but today i didnt even care, i just bolted. i made it JUST as the bell rang and alli and serena applauded me for not being late.

2) visual arts- my painting is KILLING me. i hate it, i want to burn it. i dont understand why i decided to frickin paint myself. i also want ppl to understand drawing/painting a face is completely different. as well, i want them to realize painting a face larger than the life size is incredibly hard, and ppl should just stop telling me its BLAH. lets see you paint your own face! ARG my mark will go plummeting.

3) data- mr healy hates me because i sit next to rob, matt, herman, bryan and keith and all we do is talk talk talk talk. and now that he's a new father, hes really grouchy.

4) english- wow, my worst subject ever. how do i start?

5) graphic arts- I NEED A TOPIC TO DO! the thing is, she wants it to be contriversal (how do you spell it...?) and iiiiiiiii have no passion for anything whatsoever. i dont care about war/famine/drought/flood/cancer/aids/censorship in music. -_______- someone give me a topic.

6) economics- wth is elasticity?! missing that last part of class wasnt good...

7) ryerson is the GAYEST SCHOOL ON EARTH. lame service, bad site. ugh! HOW THE HELL DO YOU MAKE AN INTERVIEW APPOINTMENT?!?!?!?!?!?! and i think its this week too, the interviews, i think im gonna miss it if i dont sign up now, but wth am i gonna do?!?!?!?!?!? after i make the interviews, where do i send my portfolio? do i have enough? do i need 3d objects? i feel so uninformed.

8) york university application is due 2mrw. i was planning to hand deliver it but its giant snow storm 2mrw.... what am i gonna do?! will i even get an interview? i really hope i do... the more i do the applications the more i want to do design. DESIGN IS AMAZINGLY FUN.

9) OCAD. i dont think i have met the portfolio requirements? sooooo nervous. oh and their interview is on the 19th. i dont know how i'll do.

10) universities in general. oh and my night class -_-

: ( oh and the lack of money in my wallet is also making me crazy @_@!

i hate growing up. i want my worries to just be within the realm of yucky lunches and who i'll play with at recess.