im really happy with nathan but sometimes i think that im missing out on a lot of what used to be a part of my life. all my friends are developing closer relationships with each other and leaving me behind. everyone talks to each other on a daily basis on msn/texting/fb and i need to initiate talking with them... and when i do its formal talk and it dies after a while. its kinda sad : ( i wish i didnt grow apart from them. and now the group is even more tight knit now that trai and jon are going out -_-. and vivs just... always super friendly with everyone she meets. leslie is a guy... and yeah, just feel like everyone has closer friendships and mine is all surface. and paul always goes like "wait... is this anything to do with nathan?" whenever i talk. its getting annoying, especially since its because he asks me about whats going on with nathan and its not like i offer info about nathan to him voluntarily.

the other day i had dinner with them i felt so disconnected with all of them. i didnt laugh naturally and i didnt really feel comfortable talking with them as myself.

i have trouble fitting into groups i think.