what i wont blow up about

1. him telling me "afternoon" and at 4 he was still sleeping at 7 he was picking up food and now its 11:24 and im still at loo
2. not picking up my calls and THEN not even texting me back
3. when joey calls, he texts her back... BUT NOT ME! AND HES DRIVING ME!
4. how i wanted this day to be just us, but turns out we're gonna be in the company of his friends AGAIN. and since 2mrw im hanging out with loo ppl, i guess i wont have any 1 on 1 time with him because once again friends first and ingrid last
5. back to 1. how my exam ended at 11 and im here 12 hours later... still.

why i wont blow up is because i know "normal ingrid" wouldnt blow up at this. and how do i know this? past experience with nathan and alvin. i usually brush it off and i remember thinking "its not that they're late, its that they're here" and "why would people be mad at them?"....

a more recent account would be halloween

how he said he'd be back in 20 min (around 1), and then said he'll be here soon (like 3 times) and failing to show up. passing out at kittys, only to be waken up by me at 4 in the morning from calling him. him telling me he's getting mcdonalds and i told him not to (him agreeing with me) and i told him i'd make him pizza. WHICH I DID and which went to waste, because he didnt eat it. on top of that, i thought he was in the parking lot (saw a red car) and i walked around the friggen parking lot multiple times IN MY TANK TOP AND SHORTS AND SLIPPERS looking for him. then waiting again upstairs watching heroes and eating cereal.

and when he came up, i thought I was wrong for looking for him. so feeling guilty and a little embarrassed, i tried to pretend like what happened didnt matter to me and pretended to be sleeping, when i actually was not. then he came in and said sorry and again that mentality came back "why would i be mad? as long as he's here"

so, my friends, i will not be a crazy person. i will be normal. when they come up, i'll smile and push away my really annoyed feelings (fueled by pms, im sure, and not because im turning crazy)

btw did i mention kelvin is like... maybe the 12th guy that has asked me "you are still in loo?" or "i thought you were going back" or "are you still planning on going to markham....?"

i am not mad... not mad at all