never again do i ever want to open this wound.

its like i took coke, got outta it and i decided to take it again and now i cant get out.

dont ever let me do this again.

i feel hopeless. like life is so routine and i will end up lonely in this world.

everything i do reminds me of nathan. today vivian cooked an omelet. which became scrambled eggs. this reminds me of when nathan cooked me an omelet and turned it to scrambled eggs.

i cant even do the start a new life thing to distract me. i started one and THEN he came in again. this is so retarded. even my bed reminds me of him. my sunglasses remind me of him, my shoes remind me of him. my UGGS remind me of him. everything has a tie to him. this is soooooooo aljfkajfksa : (

i cant believe i brought this upon myself. i am never doing this again. but i kno if the chance were to come agian, i would @_@. i am stupid, impulsive and i run on my feelings