somehow i have turned into this crazy procrastinator @_@ what is happening to meeeeee : (

last night was the worst idea on earth. kelvin came over to entertain me for a bit and then we all went to justins to "drink". like just a little so we dont go crazy or w/e. i agreed cuz it was late and i thought it would help me sleep and all that. who would have known that i would have drank that much @_@.

i remember sitting there and them telling me to finish the rum, so i poured a lot of it into my glass and mixed it with coke (it tastes like black-cow :D). anyways, as we continue on with my journey, i think they didnt realize how much rum was actually left -_- and how much i poured into my glass. after we played a couple rounds of "i never" and them all aiming to get me to drink, i mixed coke with whiskey cuz there was no more rum. that tastes soooo gross -_- i don't know who came up with whiskey cuz it is disgusting. so i gave it to kelvin and i asked for the... i have no idea how to spell alize? that thing. anyways, there was like half left and i just felt like "lalala im bored and i don't feel anything at all" so i drank it all cuz kelvin also said there wasnt that much alcohol in it. i was still at the state where i didn't feel anything weird, in fact i felt sooooooo normal i was like wtf... -_- so yeah, i asked justin to make me noodles. and then justin told me to watch the fire, that was when i started to walk funny and trip out -_-. and giggle. and laugh... and ramble incoherently. and the rest of the night was a blur. i only remember sticking my finger down my throat (as loretta usually instructs me to do) so i would throw up and get rid of the alcohol. unfortunately, IT ONLY WORKS ONCE! so i threw up some stuff out, but that sickly feeling wouldnt leave me, so i kept sticking my finger down my throat but nothing would come out. i think i scratched my throat too, cuz it started to hurt a lot : (. blah it really sucked. sitting beside a toilet bowl and hoping things would come out and like that dizzy feeling. i hate throwing up, its like the worst feeling on earth. and everything just wouldnt stop spinning and my tummy hurt : (. then justin forced me to sleep. i woke up like 3 hours later at 9:30 feeling crappy still, and trying to throw up again. ahhhhhhh i hate throwing up. and i called nathan.

yup... so that was the worst idea on earth. im technically still not done my work, but i don't really care at this point. i hate school.

nathan doesn't care about me anymore : (. ok he says he does and all that junk, but i think he's just holding on cuz he still has feelings for the relationship and not ME : (.

WHY OH WHY WAS I SO STUPID : (

honestly, i never really thought this was kelvin chu's fault in any way shape or form, but now im starting to be angry at him. i wish i dindt go to prom. i wish i got majorly grounded and actually could not leave the house.

stupid ingrid....